Thirty-Three and Me

Today is my Birthday! Hurray! Woot! Hollar!
ummmmmm....I think I'm happy about turning 33?

I really don't feel extremely happy or depressed about it. I just am. After having kids birthdays don't seem so special for me anymore. And after your milestone years of 21 and 30 there's not much to look forward to except 40! AND THAT is something I DO NOT want to think about yet.

Though I feel complacent about turning 33, I am looking forward to my weekend escape. Under the guise of "birthday weekend" I'm ditching the laundry, broom, apron, minivan and kids for an airplane headed to San Francisco! Visiting my baby brother and enjoying one of the more amazing cities in the USA. The last time I spent any significant time in the City was three years ago with "my girls" for our 30th birthday. THAT was a trip I will NEVER forget....

Now three years deep into the 30's, a little wiser and more self confidant I return to the City to see family, friends and enjoy all she has to offer. I relish these escapes I get from life...vacations...get-a-ways....time off. I hold them close and count the minutes until the next time.

So cheers and I'll see you when I return!

Signed,
Annie

Jealous

I jealously look at you and your seeming freedom.
The confidence in which you walk and talk about religion, art...life.
Effortlessly converse about non-esistance.
You travel from here to there without a care.

I jealously want to be you for a time. See the world as you see her.
With an eye of wonder and delight.
Grasping for understanding from those that can't quite explain.
Throw your inhibitions out the window and stand in the rain, naked.

I jealously admire you. The path you chose was not an easy one.
You reached the end with scars, they are beautiful.
How did you survive? Where did you find the strength?
Up and back again traversing the open fields of life.

I jealously love you.


-Annie

Absent

I know I have not written in sometime. Life got busy. Between the kids, house work, and work-work  I'm not finding a lot of time to sit and write. I'm missing it and feeling an itching to do so....
Of course today I am already running out of time!!! So I post this song that has been a great comfort as of late.









I'm learning to tear the walls down....turn the gun away from myself (meaning stopping the beating-myself-up-for-every-little-mistake mindset).


Until I have time to write again......


Don't let your soul get lonely, child..
it's only time; it will go by.
Don't look for love in faces, places —
it's in you; that's where you'll find kindness.

Signed,

Annie