Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Leading Up to This Moment

I never thought that every dream I had, all the hard work I have done, all the success I have accomplished was leading up to this moment. Several days have passed and I have been absent from this blog, though everyday I was writing in my head. But life takes its toll on me and I have been struggling with depression, a very real depression as of late, which has mostly to do with where I am at in my 30's, where I am at as of today.
This past weekend my boyfriend asked my dad for my hand in marriage. My dad cried. But I became scared that I am not where I wished to be by the time I got married again. I haven't actually received myself the proposal and according to my boyfriend, it will not be for another few months.
The last year I have applying and interviewing for that PERFECT Hollywood job, meanwhile working of course and making the most money I have ever made. But I am no where near paying off all of my debt from 7 years of a bad marriage and 2 years of being a divorcee. It all adds up and slowly I am paying things off, but I have another four years of being bonded to debt.
That being said, I have just been offered by my current job a major raise, fantastic benefits and a great Retirement plan. But the job is in the OC, and as far as I'm concerned, it might as well be in the mid-west because as I have learned in the past, OC is another planet compared to Hollywood (maybe that's how Planet Hollywood got its name).
No offense to the OC, please, but I never could do there what I do and have done here in LA/Hollywood. And to go back to a FT job in the OC makes me feel like I failed in accomplishing my dreams. And yet, I keep saying I want to be a grown up and learn from my past mistakes. Well that means, maybe I should take the job that is going to get me out of debt so I can be free again to enjoy marriage when I do actually get marriage, and so I can be free to take any position in Hollywood that would bring me closer to my dreams.
Right now, if I had been offered one of those Hollywood jobs for which I interviewed, I would be making half of what I am making now and probably couldn't pay all my bills. I might have to defer my loans AGAIN, and start asking my dad for money AGAIN, and then be stressed out and more miserable than I am now.
So the lesson I learned today, is take what comes your way and be happy you even have an opportunity to get out of debt, as opposed to drowning from it.
- Signed,

Friday, April 23, 2010


What is a typical night in the life of this 30 something year-old woman who is married with 3 kids you ask? Well let me tell you...

Kids are down and in bed by 7pm and I sigh a HUGE sigh of relief and freedom. No more nagging "mommy, mommy, MOMMY" for the next several hours. I can do and say whatever I want. I can watch TV that does not consist of primary color characters dancing and singing in high pitched voices. I can eat my secret stash of cookies and dark chocolate. I can pour a cold one and sit in silence! Ahhh, it is pure bliss I tell you.

But then suddenly I hear the garage door open and the back door squeak open and slam shut...the husband is home. Sure maybe I should greet him adorned in my apron and flawless makeup and hair with a big smile and a loving "How was your day dear?" I should have a hot dinner laid with a glass of wine and the table set.....

We all know that there is no way in HELL that is going to happen. The reality is this: The entire downstairs floor is covered in toys, food crumbs, sometimes rocks and leaves from the yard. Every counter surface is strewn with dishes. There's no dinner except for the cold mac-n-cheese and fish sticks left over from the kids. A few half drunk cups of milk might go nice with that. You can find me sitting on the couch drinking my "mommy juice" watching Entertainment Tonight and tuning out ALL my responsibilities.

I muster up some strength to engage with the husband, but he is busy too and needs to jump on the computer to continue work. I think maybe I should make dinner. So I start working on it. I decide to flip the TV off and put some music on. Well that distracts him so he asks me to turn it off. Ummm, I don't think so I say, this is MY time! So what does husband do? He walks to the garage and comes back with his GIGANTIC, blue annoying ear covers that he uses when he does yard work. We continue in this fashion for awhile. Him on the computer working and tuning out the world, me cooking and cleaning rocking out to "Florence and the Machine" on the ipod. I eat. He works. I decide to get my laptop and play on the internet (he has taken over the desktop). He works more while his dinner sits and gets cold. I drink and play on the computer. We are literally 8 feet apart from one another both on our computers. Finally, I tire of this. I start thinking, which sometimes turns out to be dangerous, I wish I had my girlfriends here to hang out with. This being on separate computers and not communicating SUCKS. I want connect. The girls and EASY to be with, its so natural and comforting. We can talk for hours without taking a breath. We share our lives and it doesn't seem to take much effort to do so. Most nights I end up texting one or a few of them. We banter back and forth ending up with a few laughs. I always feel good after that, like there is someone out there that understands. I LOVE my girlfriends and sometimes wish I lived with them.

Although I have never read the book "Men are from Mars and women are from Venus," I tend to think that is true!!! We live on different planets and communicate in totally opposite ways! Getting back to my typical night: Husband finally decides to shut down the computer and wants to engage about the day. Unfortunately, it is a little too late I am tired, falling asleep and could care less about talking. I am tired of giving out all day and I just want to pass out on the couch. So that's what happens....I pass out on the couch into deep and restful sleep. In a few short hours the "mommy, mommy, MOMMY" begins again. Maybe the night will turn out different the next day? Maybe I will get dinner on the table for him? Maybe we will connect? Who knows, probably it will just be another typical night of a 32 year-old married woman with 3 kids...


Sunday, April 18, 2010

Seeing "Date Night" on Date Night

Friday night we saw the new movie with Tina Fey and Steve Carell, Date Night. I didn't have high expectations for it, but I was actually pleasantly surprised. I found myself belly laughing at the depiction of life as a boring married couple. As I am sitting there laughing I realized that the young 30 something single lady next to me was not laughing half as much as I was. I am pretty sure she was missing some of the humor here. I mean couldn't she relate to being woken up at 5:30am by bouncing children in your bed begging for food? Or what about the negotiations about whether or not to have sex after a long day? She never had to say "Give me a second I need to get my head around this," before jumping into bed to have sex? Or had she never said, "We can keep it uptown?" I am sure she hadn't had to do any of that, yet...

How about the awkward silence during a dinner out? I was dying laughing because I have been there...I have sat in that silence with nothing much to talk about except for how the food taste, what the plans for the weekend are, and what the kids are doing. One of the classic parts in the movie is when they look over at another couple in a booth, cozied up to one another and sucking face. They both stare unable to avert their eyes when they realize that the couple is married! Bahahahahaha, I mean who does that, especially if you are married? Steve Carell's character said something like, "How can you even talk when sitting on the same side of a booth? You have to crane your neck...." But, you saw in their eyes that they wanted to be like that...The envied that married couple that hadn't fallen into the boring routine of being nothing more than roommates.

I don't want to ruin the rest of the movie for you, but needless to say it was great. I am still smiling to myself about that single 30 year old next to me too. I am POSITIVE she has a fairytale image of marriage (Like most of my single 30 year old women friends. They all want marriage so badly. They start feeling like they are getting old and are missing out). That it will be blissful and solve all her lonely heartache. But maybe after seeing Date Night she looks at it different. OR maybe after hearing the crazy married lady next to hear laugh to the point of crying about the most ridiculous parts of the movie she might reconsider her view of the fairytale of marriage....

32 and Married, Annie

Saturday, April 17, 2010


I just don't understand men, but moreso, 30-year-old men in LA. It just so happens ladies, that men hitting their 30s here are about to become set in their ways, and don't you dare think you can change them. And my man is definitely set in his and it is a constant struggle to get him to understand where I am coming from with certain things.
Female friends, an ongoing issue with us. He has so many out-of-town female friends that you think I should have no concern because they are not around, but what happens when they come to town (and they sure do) and he has plans with them. Yet, I never know their name, where they're going, what they're doing...and I am not supposed to get jealous. However, when he hangs with his male friends, he lends me all sorts of information- their name, how they met, where they're going, what they're doing.
Well, I cannot change this. He's in his 30's now and this has been the way it is for him. I already know that you cannot change someone. You either choose them for who they are and what they do, or you don't. This is a toughy for me.
He's not the first 30 year old man I've met in LA who is set in his ways. When I was dating, there were plenty of them, and personally I thought I would end up single for the rest of my life. These men are content being single and never having to make a decision based on someone else. The longer you are single, the less likely it is to adapt to another person.
Even though I found a good one in LA, it looks like I am the one who is going to have to adjust.


Inspired by an upcoming conference at Chapman University BEYOND COPENHAGEN), which is an after-gathering of the COP15 in Copenhagen, Denmark that took place this past December '09, I have decided to develop a documentary about the Youth who are already taking a stand with regards to climate change. Thanks to the Canadian Youth Climate Coalition, I learned from their podcast specific details about COP15 that there were none of the expected results, no treaty or agreement made with the UN to formally establish"green" nations in order to save our planet Earth and the young people, their children, and their children's children.
The fact that Chapman is holding BEYOND COPENHAGEN on a university campus to help bring an awareness to all the thousands of young students who exist on their grounds daily, makes me wonder just how many will show interest and actually attend. I bet if they had some idea of the world leaders who will be speaking at this conference, they might ....
Haha, at that point in my sentence, I stepped away from the blog because a light bulb went off in my head and finally after days of brainstorming, at that very moment of typing, I was able to come up with the outline for the documentary and what it's going to be about...but, I'm back.
Where was I? Oh, yes. basically, the youth can have the most influence when it comes to climate change - not just with reaching out to today's leaders, but because they are tomorrow's leaders. We learn that in church - get them while they're young, and they'll make a real difference. So it's important that if Chapman students are aware of the conference on their campus and the speakers there, that already is a good chunk of future leaders who, if inspired, no matter what their career choice, they can make a significant impact on developing "green" societies.
Hopefully, I do not sound like a radical, but when you get to researching, that's one thing, but when I listen to the radio news everyday on the way to work and hear more and more about volcanos erupting and cooling climates because of the ash clouds, and yet the heat melting snow in Iceland therefore causing the waters to rise, and then of earthquakes in Japan, Haiti, Cuba, Baja, China, as a result of the tetonic plates shifting under our oceans, and then of the flooding in California, and in New England where such natural disasters are not a rarity like in the midwest, and of snow in Dallas, Texas - how can I not take climate change seriously.
And sure, I know we do not entirely control our destiny, God controls our destiny, but he also gave us brains and skills to adapt to the ever changing enviornment from the beginning of time. We now wear clothes to keep ourselves domestic, warm, cool, comfortable; we travel with trains, planes and automobiles to visit our loved ones, get somewhere fast in an emergency, to make that next business meeting which can save our house, we use cellphones to get in touch to let a loved one know we're safe in a disaster, to call 911, to say goodbye to a spouse when our plane is being taken down by terrorists. And yes, with advanced technology comes the possibility of more ruin to ourselves. But life, whether with advanced technology or not, is going to happen, and we all eventually die. But while we are alive, we have to survive on this Earth where God put us. And if he inspires in us ideas of survival, do we not have a responsibility to act?
It's like food. Many watched the documentary, FOOD NATION. I, personally, choose to eat organically and feel all the better for it. I eat naturally and often times like a vegan, though I am not, and all for the result of being healthy. But the second I put a burger in my mouth, a french fry, even a slice of wheat toast (which is bad for me because of sylliac disease) I feel sick. If I eat wheat and gluten, if I have dairy, I lose energy, I get bloated, I therefore cannot work out, I feel bad about myself, my skin breaks out...where is the good in any of this? If I avoid those foods, then the exact opposite. I can be active, my skin looks good, I have energy to go and make documentaries, work hard in the studio, and still come home and make dinner or go salsa dancing. My point is that, food is something we all can relate to when it comes to making choices about our survival on this Earth and being healthy by what we eat.
So what is so wrong with taking action to make myself more healthy? Maybe I won't live longer, maybe I will. But what matters is how I feel while I am living on this Earth. And while I am living on this Earth, I want a healthier climate. I want my kids and me to be able to drink water, to breathe and play outside. My duty therefore is to recycle, conserve energy, take shorter and fewer showers, eat organically, and make a documentary to bring awareness of a major issue affecting me and lives worldwide.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

30 Something

Today is my birthday. I used to love birthdays and look forward to the celebrations but now I really don't. It's not why you would think...I don't feel old, I am not embarrassed by my age, it's just that I don't really care. Now it feels like just another day in the life of me. I go about doing the same things I always do. As an adult, past the milestone 30, maybe this is how it is? Most of my 'mature' friends express this same sentiment. Although I am not sure that is the complete reason I feel this way...

This year I feel unsettled and a little like I am starting over. In your 30's I think you start living in reality, gone are the idealistic days of your 20's. I don't say this as a negative remark, but actually in a positive way in which one grows and matures. Yes, that's it...learning new things about yourself and being honest about the realities of life. This changes your perspective on life. Maybe this is when you start trying to live for the present, stop worrying about the future and stop regretting the past. Could it be possible that this is when you start accepting yourself for who you are? Or is this when you face yourself in the mirror and decide to make a change?


Saturday, April 10, 2010

Pink Martini...yes, I'll have some of that

Last night my husband and I had our first REAL date in long time. See, we are trying to turn over a new leaf in our lives. Since having kids 5 years ago we have become bogged down by the mundane of life. We tend to only do what is necessary; the chores around the house, caring for the children's needs, celebrating birthdays, or holidays, or anniversaries, and then crashing at night in front of the TV with a microwaved Trader Joe's meal. Then we wake up and do the same thing all over again...every day, week, month....and now years have passed. Where did our lives go? We used to go out and try new restaurants, we used to go see shows, travel, be spontaneous, really what I am trying to say is that we used to be free. Unattached to the responsibilities that having a family brings. Suddenly we find ourselves 5 years deep into parenthood with 3 children and no life for ourselves. I know that sounds negative, but in the spirit of being honest (since that what this blog is if nothing else) this happens so easily! We didn't purposely let our passions and interest fade away, they were just set aside so we could focus on what was immediately in front of us. We have poured our lives into these little ones, but now as they get more independent and older it is time to find us......me again.

A band that I have loved for several years is Pink Martini. My brother-in-law gave me their cd a few years back for Christmas and I immediatly fell in love. They are a fusion of so many kinds of music...latin, spanish, french, big band, opera, classical, pop, disco, the list goes on. I would play a song and just be taken over. I would start dancing around the kitchen... It reminded me of my days back in college with Marcieanna. We were roommates and we would put on some salsa music and just dance around for hours. Pink Martini uses a lot of latin beats that just get you moving. Their music is filled with passion and emotion and now that I think about it, that is what draws me to them. I feel passion and alive when I listen to them.

Last night I got dressed up, did my hair, put on my best make-up and went out on the town. We arrived at the Segesrstrum Hall, where Pink Martini was playing, and I already felt like it was going to be an amazing show. Our seats were set right up above the orchestra and I could literally read the music of the horn section from my seat. The Segerstrum is beautiful, modern, and enchanting. I looked around and the crowd seemed to fit what Pink Martini embodies; eclectic, mixed, a wide range of ages, ethnicity, hipsters, hippies, even a few children. As they played and their music filled that hall everyone was smiling! Everyone was happy, enjoying the music. Oh, and I felt alive!!! That music moved me and stirred in me a desire to LIVE. To enjoy these times. To get out! To take the time to find my passions again. To escape, every once in a while, the mundane that can overcome life. It was an amazing night, a great band and even more importantly it was inspiring for me. This band, these people have followed their passions and are doing what they love...

So next time I am feeling overcome with the mundane of life I am going to throw some Pink Martini on the ipod and start dancing around the kitchen.


30 Ways to Sunday

"What does this title even mean," I asked Anne-Marie. She said it is a take on "six ways to Sunday"- which in WikiAnswers means, "every way possible" or "using every method possible" to get somewhere, achieve something. Since Annie and I are two 30 year old women and we're blogging about all the ways possible to survive in this decade of our lives since our methods in our 20's seemed a bit far-fetched, it only makes sense to title this blog "30 Ways to Sunday".
My brain is not functioning very well at this moment because I am sitting in the lobby of the Loews Hotel in Santa Monica, trying to eaves drop on all the conversations going on around me because there are several influential people here attending the conference I am - the NALIP 2010 conference. Filmmakers, Distributors, Studio Execs, Networks, Managers, etc. are here. Yes, I am using every method possible to make it in this industry, and one of the methods is being at this conference, learning the latest in this business, and trying to network. I guess I'm not doing a good job if I'm isolating myself on my computer but I need to write about all that is going on around me and in my head.
There is so much information to retain and while I'm excited, I am also feeling really insecure and depressed that at this age I am not as successful as a lot of these people around me. They tell their stories that they got their first job writing on a tv series at age 24, or they became an Excecutive Producer at age 28. They tell their stories of starting out at the bottom, in the mail room of an agency, as an Assistant. But I have been there, done that, BUT, and the biggest BUT, is I didn't stick with it and I went on to try different things when i should have just stayed put. Now sitting here, I feel like I might have missed out on my window of opportunity. I would have to start again, if I even can. I think people can see I might be a little burnt out, tainted, and no longer passionate enough to take anyone's bullshit to get to where I want to be. And like I said in a blog ago - they probably see my frustration that has replaced my passion.
Perhaps I need to go now and start making conversation with some of these brilliant people around me, but I do not want them to see that desperation and frustration, it doesn't attract people to me.
I remember when I could network like crazy because of my ambition or my position. Both of those has changed. But I am not above anything. I am humbled to be here, back at ground zero, listening to speakers about how to write that spec tv pilot, how to pitch, how to market your indie film, how to break into this business. Humbled, but depressed...Humbled, but frustrated...Humbled, but I want to go jump in that ocean just out the window and drown myself. But no, I cannot give up, I have to keep going. I will continue running this race. I will not look to myself but to God.
In fact, speaking of God, I sat next to a Vanguard University Alum (Annie and my alma mater) at yesterdays luncheon. He graduated the school year I came in (1998) and he's currently a Pastor, but he's living his other dream of producing a tv show as well and getting a game show on the air. He encouraged me to do everything for God and with God in the heart of it. Not make things about God, or write about God, but do my work for God instead of for myself.
I have to admit, that's hard, because even when I shared that same focus, though things were happening for me then, they kept happening even when I took God out of the heart of what I'm doing. Or maybe not, maybe since I love God so much, He's always in what I do. Whatever the case, it wouldn't hurt to turn my eyes to Him right now.
I spoke of a curse, and perhaps it is time to put an end to that curse, just like it's time to put an end to this depression and frustration. These people here did not get to where they are by sitting around complaining, and though I'm trying to polish up my writing skills, I think I've written enough now and it's time to sign off and go network. It's time go back to using all methods possible to survive this decade, to accomplish some of those goals I've had for years, if anything, it's time to go use the restroom.

- Signed

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Off Topic

Last night I was enjoying my TV time at the end of a long day and decided to watch Lost. I was really struck by this episode and couldn't help but think about it all day today! I had to write something about it...

I am an avid follower of the show Lost. I have loved this show from the beginning and find myself even logging onto blogs and fan sites to read about all the small details that are hidden within each episode. There have been seasons when it seems like I have eaten, breathed, and lived the story, basically thinking way too much about it. I enjoy the intricacies of the story and the mystery of not knowing what exactly is going on. I like that I can play detective and try to figure it out. I like too see if the writers hid any clues to give us a sign of what things are to come. Or if they drew connections between character story lines building upon the layers of an already deep story. But the characters are the most fascinating to me. They are incredibly flawed. More than not they make poor, ill thought through choices. Then there is the themes of the show; good vs. evil, destiny vs. personal choice...

Last nights episode dealt with personal choice, and the control that we might have over our lives.
Here is an excerpt of dialogue from the episode that I really liked.

"Are you happy? Have you ever been in love? Spectacular conscience altering love? Do you know what that looks like?" -Charlie

"I wasn't aware that love looked like anything." -Desmond

"I've seen it mate....... Then I see her... A woman... raptuisly beautiful. And I know her. We're together. It's like we've always been. And always will be. This feeling. This love. Just for a moment I saw what it looked like...." -Charlie

"It's just poetry brother...." -Desmond

"Ya, I know what you're saying, but I've seen something real, I've seen the truth." -Charlie

"There's always a choice..." -Desmond

Charlie is talking about a vision he sees of his love, Claire. He doesn't realize it is her because he is in some kind of alternate reality. But it seems that fate is still going to pull them back together. So does he have any control over it? Can he make a choice, like Desmond says? Can we choose our path? Or are we destined to follow the one that is laid out before us?

Marcieanna pointed out a great quote from the Kennedy Curse that applies here, "A fatal collision course with reality..." In the story of Lost, we know that Charlie dies on the island, it appeared that he made the choice to sacrifice himself for the lives of his friends (several seasons before). This then causes me to ask if in this alternate universe Charlie is destined to make the same choice and find himself on the same fatal collision course he was on at the Island? Could the Kennedy's then or now change their course? Can we change ours?



The quote by Edith Hamilton struck me the most of this entire book The Kennedy Curse because it pretty much underlines its premise. Here in this blog are to be my own words, but if you do not have the text in front of you, you might not know of that which I speak.

"It was an ill-fated house...A curse seemed to hang over the family, making men sin in spite of themselves and bringing suffering and death down upon the innocent as well as the guilty."

Even a family as esteemed and elite as the Kennedy's were not above misfortune, despite what they thought. As on top of the world as they thought they were, so many of them came crashing down, LITERALLY. Never did I know until I picked up this book, just how many of the Kennedys suffered tragedies. It was like reading Greek mythology when I was reading the "Chronicle of the Kennedy Curse".
As we all do when we read or watch the news about people and their successes or loss and misfortunes, I compared my life the best way I could to what I learned thus far of the Kennedys in the "Introduction". I may not have a wealthy family fully of former Presidents and Amabassadors, etc., but down the line, my family immigrated to the United States, and since it has appeared there is a curse hanging over us, stemming from both my father and mother's side. We haven't suffered the tragic accidents like the Kennedys, but there has been much "suffering and death upon the innocent as well as the guilty."
Only when I hit my 30's did I recognize this curse. Before, I always asked God, "why me?" But now it's more like, "why us?" And yet, if I look back far enough, I can see that it was because of one person's journey, the curse began and spread like wildfire, tearing down home after home, and destroying the good that many family members tried to make out of the bad. It is not just the family, it involves "those associated with the family on an average of nearly once every two years," just the same as with the Kennedys- from incest, to divorce, drug abuse, mental illness, disease, sickness, physical abuse, alcoholism, embezzlement, adultery, to even being barren.
I am not exempt. Although I take full responsibility for my actions, I think what I have suffered out of my control, has been the result of a curse. Where I am today, it is the result of a curse. Why I wanted to start this blog after reading this book, is a result of the curse. Seeing personality traits of a lot of these Kennedy's similar to my own, is a result of a family curse.
I relate to descriptions in the Introduction about John Kennedy, Jr. which result from such a curse - he was a narcissist who thrived on attention, who indulged in unsafe activities, who was a rebel, and who sought power because he dreaded the emptiness that came with being ignored. And yet I was able to relate to his crazy wife- she was a child of divorce and though my own father did not abandon me physically, he abandoned me emotionally when he decided to go off with several women, and therefore, I too, like Carolyn Bessette, am sensitive to any sign of male desertion. And I also can relate to the line in the Introduction "virtually every time a Kennedy was on the verge of achieving a goal or ambition, he was doomed to pay a tragic price" and as you continue to read this book, you discover it was by their very own hand, still due to a curse.

Anyone reading this can probably relate on different levels; as you see, you do not have to be a Kennedy or have the elitism of a Kennedy to relate to the life issues they struggled with. As the Introduction also stated, "all families suffer adversity". But something must be said about a "chain of calamities" and how it stems from a history of ill-gotten means and abuse of power.
How does this relate to being 30? Life really just seems to be beginning, yet, if I'm not careful, it could be close to ending. These reckless decisions I make, the desire for power, the hunger for success...it intensifies at age 30 because you start to look back and see where you are, or ARE NOT, today, despite what you swore. Though my focus might have shifted, passion has been replaced with frustration, and the latter can be the more dangerous of the two despite what others think.
My problem, much like the Kennedys, is I always want to be the "best". I am not happy with "good enough". Perhaps this is why I am so fascinated with the Kennedys and other powerful, wealthy families (I read a lot of literature about English Royalty, and Edith Wharton) because I wonder if I can glean something from the knowledge of their lives to advance me in my own life. I would not go to the extreme of calling myself a Narcissist, but again I can relate to something else written in the Introduction about that they are full of an "overwhelming need to... believe that they are entitled to get away with things that other cannot [sounds like my dad, eh, eh?] - in order to compensate for deep feelings of vulnerability." As such with the Kennedys, this can be traced back to early history "which [leaves an] indelible scar [on] the psyche".
In this book, we experience the Kennedy's "fatal collision course with reality". Doesn't this sound much like Anne-Marie's description of why we started this blog. Doesn't this sound like what happens by the time you reach your thirties? I am sure we are not the only ones who can relate. But in case we are, that is why Annie and I started this blog together. Annie, perhaps, we should use pseudonyms for this blog, now that I think about it.
- Signed

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Patrick Kennedy

I'm the first to admit that I do not know a lot about history. Unfortunately, a lot of those facts I learned in my history classes have just faded from my brain. Now I wish I could remember more of them. I wish that I would have paid attention more in class because history is important and dare I say interesting! Reading about the first Kennedy that immigrated to the United States in 1849 I re-learned about the intense persecution that these immigrants suffered. Patrick Kennedy dealt with the famine and persecution in Ireland only to travel to the United States in a "death ship" sharing a 6x6 space with 12 other individuals. These "coffins" were not cleaned during the voyage, there were no bathrooms, there was no way to bathe or even change clothes. Then once in the USA being ridiculed and considered on the bottom rung of society just for being Irish and Catholic. I had forgotten how bad it was for the immigrants coming to the US, especially the Irish. This makes me wonder about todays immigrants and what they have to deal with. Sure, we like to think we have moved past this type of stereotyping and thinking in our society and welcome immigrants with open arms into our county, but do we? I hear derogatory and even racist comments about Muslim, Mexican, Middle-Eastern and Arab immigrants more often than I care to. The Natavist movement has caught like wildfire all over the country...This frustrates me to no end, but more so it makes me sad. I would have hoped that we could be an open and loving country that would welcome diversity as a strength rather than a weakness. To live up to our reputation of the American Dream. Yet it seems that deep seeded prejudices are slow to change so maybe we, the citizens of this country, just need more time to observe and learn. To see that we are all apart of humanity, equal and worthy.


Monday, April 5, 2010

The beginning.

We decided to start with a book that prompted us both to ask questions about this famous family, life decisions, fame, and the concept of whether or not you can be cursed...