Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Not Alone but Lonely

Family and friends surrounded.
They smiled and laughed. I looked on as an outsider.
I am watching my life unfold behind a glass window.
I see myself move from room to kitchen to door. Exit and return.
In the night I rise. I wonder thru darkness of my home and my soul.
Uneasy and unmoving.

I am watching my life unfold behind a wall.
Realizations of love blocked by bricks constructed to protect a broken heart. Thick and unbroken.
Darkness presses down.
I wonder thru the darkness of my heart.

Brown eyes plead for love. I press up against the wall. I hammer and claw.
Never alone for more than a minute. Lists ticking off in my head.
They giggle and run.
I hide.

I try to keep up. Going too fast I cannot grasp.
I reach for love and it moves from me.
I hide behind the wall. I peer through the glass.
A damaged heart.

I am watching my life unfold in a mirror.
The mirror is broken and I see myself distorted.
Beyond repair. Can the glazer fix it?
It's not me.
I look away.
I look away.


  1. Ahhh, sweetheart.
    You are loved and you're not alone.

  2. I wish I could help you break that wall. I know I can do nothing but pray, and let you know I love you and am behind you.

  3. NEVER "beyond repair" girl! Never, never!! XOXO & pls pls send me your new number so i can call u someday! I miss you A LOT!
    ps dug the poem :)

  4. I love you, Annie! I start teaching one night a week next week at Vanguard, and I would love to see you, maybe after class and give you a BIG BEAR HUG!!!!

  5. Thanks ladies! Hard times for me, but hoping it means growth...