Wednesday, June 23, 2010

LEAKAGE


"Seriously, another pair?" This after ruining my fifth pair of underwear in so many days with period leakage. What is the deal? If having three kids and aging into your thirties means that you start having tampon overflow I am pissed! I have considered shoving two tampons up the va-ja-ja to try and capture the  immense amount of blood that is pouring out of my body. (Sorry I hate to be so graphic, but this is reality people!). There is no way I am going to stick a pad on, so don't even suggest it. The 'pad' or 'pad with wings' is a nice way of saying DIAPER that will make you look and feel like you have a load of shit in your pants. Honestly,what I really think about is why I didn't have the docs pull the entire plumbing out of my body when I had a c-section and got my tubes tied. I could have avoided this whole menstrual cycle for good and skipped menopause! I mean seriously....I would not be writing this post if I had just had a hysterectomy. 

It is also right about now that I wish I was a guy. I honestly don't want that 'thing' hanging between my legs and I don't have penis envy, but at least IT doesn't bleed!!!! Men have it so easy!!! So g*d damn easy when it comes to bodily function. I hate them for that! ARGH!

The only good thing to come out of ruining all 5 pairs of underwear is that I have to make a trip to Victoria's Secret. 

Signed,
Bleeding Annie

3 comments:

  1. KITTY in Croatia =DJune 24, 2010 at 5:18 AM

    if u can believe it, women not only don't wear tampons out here, but most don't even know what they are!! when i try to describe how awesome they are, women are just totally freaked out by the concept of them, like "ummm...no thanks." it's crazy! could u imagine pads ALL the day long, every month for a week?! so even though it totally sucks that you're bleeding your brains out, at least you live on the side of the world that has and embraces the glory that is the tampon (i have to have my mom send them to me!). =D

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  2. OMG, Kitty I could NOT IMAGINE! How do they go to the beach all summer, wear dresses, do anything at all with that THING strapped on? YUCK!!!!!!! Good thing your mom is sending them to you or you would be a bloody mess. HAHAHA.

    AM

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  3. Hahah, I've been chuckling about this for days, as I try my very first panty-liners only week (just to see if it would work). They're less bulky than pads (argh) but more high-maintenance than tampons. I think I'm just going to use a turkey baster.

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