I just don't understand men, but moreso, 30-year-old men in LA. It just so happens ladies, that men hitting their 30s here are about to become set in their ways, and don't you dare think you can change them. And my man is definitely set in his and it is a constant struggle to get him to understand where I am coming from with certain things.
Female friends, an ongoing issue with us. He has so many out-of-town female friends that you think I should have no concern because they are not around, but what happens when they come to town (and they sure do) and he has plans with them. Yet, I never know their name, where they're going, what they're doing...and I am not supposed to get jealous. However, when he hangs with his male friends, he lends me all sorts of information- their name, how they met, where they're going, what they're doing.
Well, I cannot change this. He's in his 30's now and this has been the way it is for him. I already know that you cannot change someone. You either choose them for who they are and what they do, or you don't. This is a toughy for me.
He's not the first 30 year old man I've met in LA who is set in his ways. When I was dating, there were plenty of them, and personally I thought I would end up single for the rest of my life. These men are content being single and never having to make a decision based on someone else. The longer you are single, the less likely it is to adapt to another person.
Even though I found a good one in LA, it looks like I am the one who is going to have to adjust.
Female friends, an ongoing issue with us. He has so many out-of-town female friends that you think I should have no concern because they are not around, but what happens when they come to town (and they sure do) and he has plans with them. Yet, I never know their name, where they're going, what they're doing...and I am not supposed to get jealous. However, when he hangs with his male friends, he lends me all sorts of information- their name, how they met, where they're going, what they're doing.
Well, I cannot change this. He's in his 30's now and this has been the way it is for him. I already know that you cannot change someone. You either choose them for who they are and what they do, or you don't. This is a toughy for me.
He's not the first 30 year old man I've met in LA who is set in his ways. When I was dating, there were plenty of them, and personally I thought I would end up single for the rest of my life. These men are content being single and never having to make a decision based on someone else. The longer you are single, the less likely it is to adapt to another person.
Even though I found a good one in LA, it looks like I am the one who is going to have to adjust.
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Signed,
Marcieanna
Hmmmmm. This is a tough one. You are dealing with a trust issue here. In my opinion there has to be a strong foundation of trust in every relationship. If you need to be reassured and given information, then so be it! What harm does it do for him to tell you this? NOTHING! Yes, people are set in their ways in their 30's, but we can STILL change and STILL adapt. AND both people must adapt, not just one!!
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I agree...it wouldn't be a huge change for him to at least just tell you who/what/where. You are "giving" by trusting him on the outing and not worrying about it, so I think he could make that small concession.
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