Where I'm Going

My last post was a poem and it was something that I had not planned on writing, instead it poured out of me. I hadn't experienced this kind of "thing" before. I don't consider myself one prone to artistic sensibilities. Yet, there I found myself writing about my heart and soul...


Anyway some of you that occasionally read this blog have responded with what I can only see as love. Instead of it scaring you off into avoidance you sent me love. You see I have a hard time showing vulnerability because I tend to see it as weakness. (I don't like to appear weak.) Though over these past two years and especially in the past 3 months I realize I am full of raw unapologetic emotion.  And this emotion I have does not make me weak it makes me human and ALIVE.


You that have reached out to me and have stood by me through it all I dedicate this song to you.You have taken my hand because you know what I am going through. 


Some of you have had loss...loss of a pregnancy, marriage, or friends. Others have seen tragedy. Others dealing with chronic illness. Even a near death experience or a mother who's fought off cancer. You, my friends, have showed me that no matter what life brings in our paths we can stand together. So I offer you my hand because I know what you are going through...






Signed, 
Annie


Where I'm going I don't know but come with me...

Not Alone but Lonely

Family and friends surrounded.
They smiled and laughed. I looked on as an outsider.
I am watching my life unfold behind a glass window.
I see myself move from room to kitchen to door. Exit and return.
In the night I rise. I wonder thru darkness of my home and my soul.
Uneasy and unmoving.

I am watching my life unfold behind a wall.
Realizations of love blocked by bricks constructed to protect a broken heart. Thick and unbroken.
Darkness presses down.
I wonder thru the darkness of my heart.

Brown eyes plead for love. I press up against the wall. I hammer and claw.
Never alone for more than a minute. Lists ticking off in my head.
They giggle and run.
I hide.

I try to keep up. Going too fast I cannot grasp.
I reach for love and it moves from me.
I hide behind the wall. I peer through the glass.
A damaged heart.

I am watching my life unfold in a mirror.
The mirror is broken and I see myself distorted.
Beyond repair. Can the glazer fix it?
It's not me.
I look away.
I look away.