Connection

What is a typical night in the life of this 30 something year-old woman who is married with 3 kids you ask? Well let me tell you...

Kids are down and in bed by 7pm and I sigh a HUGE sigh of relief and freedom. No more nagging "mommy, mommy, MOMMY" for the next several hours. I can do and say whatever I want. I can watch TV that does not consist of primary color characters dancing and singing in high pitched voices. I can eat my secret stash of cookies and dark chocolate. I can pour a cold one and sit in silence! Ahhh, it is pure bliss I tell you.

But then suddenly I hear the garage door open and the back door squeak open and slam shut...the husband is home. Sure maybe I should greet him adorned in my apron and flawless makeup and hair with a big smile and a loving "How was your day dear?" I should have a hot dinner laid with a glass of wine and the table set.....

We all know that there is no way in HELL that is going to happen. The reality is this: The entire downstairs floor is covered in toys, food crumbs, sometimes rocks and leaves from the yard. Every counter surface is strewn with dishes. There's no dinner except for the cold mac-n-cheese and fish sticks left over from the kids. A few half drunk cups of milk might go nice with that. You can find me sitting on the couch drinking my "mommy juice" watching Entertainment Tonight and tuning out ALL my responsibilities.

I muster up some strength to engage with the husband, but he is busy too and needs to jump on the computer to continue work. I think maybe I should make dinner. So I start working on it. I decide to flip the TV off and put some music on. Well that distracts him so he asks me to turn it off. Ummm, I don't think so I say, this is MY time! So what does husband do? He walks to the garage and comes back with his GIGANTIC, blue annoying ear covers that he uses when he does yard work. We continue in this fashion for awhile. Him on the computer working and tuning out the world, me cooking and cleaning rocking out to "Florence and the Machine" on the ipod. I eat. He works. I decide to get my laptop and play on the internet (he has taken over the desktop). He works more while his dinner sits and gets cold. I drink and play on the computer. We are literally 8 feet apart from one another both on our computers. Finally, I tire of this. I start thinking, which sometimes turns out to be dangerous, I wish I had my girlfriends here to hang out with. This being on separate computers and not communicating SUCKS. I want connect. The girls and EASY to be with, its so natural and comforting. We can talk for hours without taking a breath. We share our lives and it doesn't seem to take much effort to do so. Most nights I end up texting one or a few of them. We banter back and forth ending up with a few laughs. I always feel good after that, like there is someone out there that understands. I LOVE my girlfriends and sometimes wish I lived with them.

Although I have never read the book "Men are from Mars and women are from Venus," I tend to think that is true!!! We live on different planets and communicate in totally opposite ways! Getting back to my typical night: Husband finally decides to shut down the computer and wants to engage about the day. Unfortunately, it is a little too late I am tired, falling asleep and could care less about talking. I am tired of giving out all day and I just want to pass out on the couch. So that's what happens....I pass out on the couch into deep and restful sleep. In a few short hours the "mommy, mommy, MOMMY" begins again. Maybe the night will turn out different the next day? Maybe I will get dinner on the table for him? Maybe we will connect? Who knows, probably it will just be another typical night of a 32 year-old married woman with 3 kids...

-Signed

Annie

Seeing "Date Night" on Date Night

Friday night we saw the new movie with Tina Fey and Steve Carell, Date Night. I didn't have high expectations for it, but I was actually pleasantly surprised. I found myself belly laughing at the depiction of life as a boring married couple. As I am sitting there laughing I realized that the young 30 something single lady next to me was not laughing half as much as I was. I am pretty sure she was missing some of the humor here. I mean couldn't she relate to being woken up at 5:30am by bouncing children in your bed begging for food? Or what about the negotiations about whether or not to have sex after a long day? She never had to say "Give me a second I need to get my head around this," before jumping into bed to have sex? Or had she never said, "We can keep it uptown?" I am sure she hadn't had to do any of that, yet...

How about the awkward silence during a dinner out? I was dying laughing because I have been there...I have sat in that silence with nothing much to talk about except for how the food taste, what the plans for the weekend are, and what the kids are doing. One of the classic parts in the movie is when they look over at another couple in a booth, cozied up to one another and sucking face. They both stare unable to avert their eyes when they realize that the couple is married! Bahahahahaha, I mean who does that, especially if you are married? Steve Carell's character said something like, "How can you even talk when sitting on the same side of a booth? You have to crane your neck...." But, you saw in their eyes that they wanted to be like that...The envied that married couple that hadn't fallen into the boring routine of being nothing more than roommates.

I don't want to ruin the rest of the movie for you, but needless to say it was great. I am still smiling to myself about that single 30 year old next to me too. I am POSITIVE she has a fairytale image of marriage (Like most of my single 30 year old women friends. They all want marriage so badly. They start feeling like they are getting old and are missing out). That it will be blissful and solve all her lonely heartache. But maybe after seeing Date Night she looks at it different. OR maybe after hearing the crazy married lady next to hear laugh to the point of crying about the most ridiculous parts of the movie she might reconsider her view of the fairytale of marriage....

Signed

32 and Married, Annie