Friday, May 21, 2010
"Daily mundane tasks seem to overcome passion
and sometimes life, but that doesn't mean that you have to die."
I borrowed this quote from a friend, it sums up my life in a nutshell; This life of repeating the same tasks everyday over and over. Sure small things can be different in a day, whether the poop accident happens in the kids pants or gets all over the floor, but you are still cleaning it up. Which dishes you wash, it might be a pot, a frying pan, or a microwave safe bowl...but you are still washing. How many loads of laundry in a day varies, but if you let it go too long it becomes a mountain that will take days to conquer. Which kid is mouthing off and misbehaving changes by the minute, yet you are constantly correcting, directing, teaching the "proper" behavior.
I live my life in hour increments: The morning coffee and breakfast, then a respite during morning nap, before you know it's time to feed the little people, then another short break for afternoon rest followed by snack time, then off to make dinner, after which the meltdowns begin so we rush to finish bath time and bedtime. Finally, I have a few hours to do what I want, but by then I am so spent I don't even have the energy to move myself from the couch. I fall asleep there. Woken by hubby saying it's time to go upstairs. I crash into my bed to repeat the whole process again starting at 5:30am. Mundane, mundane simple tasks, a life lived in hour increments. It all becomes so boring.
I fit in a few things for myself here and there...but it never seems to be enough. How quickly you can become lost in the daily grind of your life.
Trying to find the balance of self, daily routine, and fulfilling your roles is damn hard. I don't want to feel like I have lost myself or died. I want to live and enjoy the moments that pass too quickly. "It doesn't mean you have to die" - maybe this should be my new mantra?