Friday, May 7, 2010

"You Can't Make This Stuff Up!"

Hubby and I were able to escape for an adult weekend down to San Diego. It was great to pack all my "going out" clothes. You know what I am talking about...the clothes that usually don't see the light of day because I don't want them ruined by piss, poo, spit-up, snot, or any other bodily fluids that might come out of my three rug rats. I had all my nice shoes including the heels I only wear about once a year. I was looking forward to taking the time to do my hair and makeup OUTSIDE of the car on my way to school drop off. I mean, I would actually be able to stand in front of a mirror to see what I really looked like, imagine that!? I was really looking forward to this adult weekend! Yummy adult restaurants, drinks, rooftop bars, late nights and late mornings. It was going to be bliss...

When we arrive in our swanky hipster hotel hubby throws his bag on the bed. He gives me a sly smile and pulls out several items...1) A bottle of patron 2) a couple of shot glasses 3) two white tube socks. I looked at him sideways and said, "what are those for?" pointing at the tube socks. He then laughs and pulls out a vibrator from each!!!!! I fell on the bed horse laughing. I could not believe my husband! Here I am fretting and planning all my outfits out down to the smallest details and he is busy digging around in the "sex box" on the top closet shelf for toys. Wow, it was going to be a crazy weekend ADULT weekend! Needless to say it was a blast in all the adult ways....if you get my drift.

Then it was back home to our Mommy and Daddy "roles." The kids gave us big hugs and said they missed us. The dog jumped with joy to see us again. In no time we were back to the routine of life in suburbia. We left the adult weekend behind...or so we thought...On the Wednesday after we got home our house cleaners came. I LOVE my house cleaning days! There is nothing in the world like coming home to a sparkling house and you didn't have to lift a finger to do it! I went upstairs and breathed in the scent of cleanliness... I think I was getting high. I then looked over at the bed and my high quickly dissipated into utter shock...There setting on the edge of my nicely made bed lay a white tube sock! WHAT the F? I thought I had put all the luggage in my closet, out of the way for the cleaners? I ran to look in the closet, yes it was there. How did this tube sock escape? There was only one answer, it must have rolled out of the luggage and while the cleaners were busy tidying my room they found it!!!! AHHH, are you kidding me? They found my vibrator!?!? Yes, that seemed to be the case. They found it and kindly laid it on the edge of bed to say...."Oh, yes we found your toy and we didn't want you to miss it so we set it out here on your bed for your next use." Great, thank you for that! I will be sure to give you a thank you note the next time I see you. I am still utterly embarrassed about the whole ordeal. I mean, what can I say to them the next time I see them? "Hi there, sorry I left my vibrator out?" No, no, there is really nothing to say I just will smile and pretend it never happened. Of course I know they will now be looking at me in a TOTALLY different way. The moral of the story? I suppose it is that sometimes adult weekends can bleed over into the reality of our real lives! Look out and beware, cause you never know when it will happen to you!

Annie, the Adult


  1. O.M.G. That is humiliating!! I would die. But you will always be able to laugh about that one!!