I read an opinion piece the other day about Lesbian households. The writer argued that Lesbians tend to be happier couples because the distribution of work comes pretty close to even.
"studies have shown time and time again that no matter how progressive and feminist and smart and supportive a husband is, it’s still very statistically likely that he does less than 50% of household chores, regardless of the division of labor outside the home between he and his wife. But the upshot of that is that most American women have developed a pretty insane skill set as far as balancing demanding jobs out of the home as well as the demanding job of doing all the work inside the home, on top of caring for a family. When both heads of the household are women, that’s a lot of skills being brought to bear."
Truth! Whenever my sister is over or my mother comes to stay things get done. Dishes cleaned, floors get swept, trash taken out, laundry folded and put away, kids dressed, hair combed. It all gets done without a plea having to be sent out or even a word uttered.
Maybe I am going to start living with women? It's a thought. At least I will be living with someone who comes with some of the same ideas and perspectives on life. For instance she wouldn't walk over toys 100 times and still NEVER put them away. I wouldn't have to have an emotional breakdown every time I become overwhelmed with the burden of caring for the family. Why, because she would be right by my side doing it all with me.
I do joke here, I am not going to live with women, but it is a thought to be considered, like I stated in the last post.....Why do we allow these men to get away with doing 50% less than us? SERIOUSLY!
Signed,
I wish my husband was a woman,
Annie
It's ironic that I'm so late in catching up to these posts. Feels like most of February was a struggle between the mister and I over roles, responsibilities, communication (or lack thereof) and emotional barfing. Sheesh, I was exhausted. The most relevant moment of the whole month was when, while comforting/encouraging me, my mister's mom said: and you have to learn how to stand up for yourself! Speak up, nobody's going to do it for you!
ReplyDeleteAnd I thought...(deep breath out)...duh.
I never do that. Speak up for myself, I mean. That's when I realized how emotionally immature I actually was. WTF?? I'm SO mature. I'm SMART and >>LOGICAL<< even. But it turns out that hindsight gave me some clues and I was able to admit to myself: I emotionally freak the fuck out when I get overwhelmed. I get overwhelmed because I'm terrible at standing up for myself. AND >>>big moment here<< ...standing up for myself doesn't have to involve emotion.
OMg?!
So I tried it a few times. I felt terribly uncomfortable. But it worked like a charm! I'm going to keep trying this new "having a spine" thing. I'll tell you how it goes.
If it all backfires, we could totally be the Golden Girls, it'd be awesome.
Ah, girl I feel you on this!!! It is difficult to stand up for yourself. I used to consider myself strong and fortuitous but when it came down to it I was always relenting and backing down. I would keep adding to my already heavy load. I am a hard worker and I care deeply about all that I do so it is in my nature to KEEP ON KEEPING ON. But you get to a point where it is TOO much and you have to stop, reassess and ask for the help.
ReplyDeleteI love what you are doing for yourself, being strong and standing up for what you need. THIS IS OKAY and NORMAL and HEALTHY! And moreover it is to be respected! So keep on keeping on with this one. :)